It’s not uncommon for couples to use drugs or alcohol together. Couples spend a lot of time together in the same environment, around the same people and participating in the same activities. However, each person still makes their own decision to use.
So what happens when one partner wants to get sober? Does it mean that both can at the same time? It’s possible, but there are challenges to prepare for. Getting through your own recovery can be difficult, and getting sober together will be even more so. But, if you are both committed and willing to put in the work, it is possible to get sober as a couple.
If you and your partner want to get sober together, here is everything you need to know about the process.
Why it’s Easy for Two People to Use Substances Together
People who live together spend a lot of time together by default. Therefore, they are more likely to participate in the same activities, which can include substance use. Couples are also exposed to the same people, the same environment and the same lifestyle. If one person starts using drugs or alcohol more often, the other person is likely too as well.
Once this occurs, it becomes more difficult to break the bond. You and your partner are dependent on each other to get high or drunk and to continue using substances. If you continue down this path, it can create a situation where you both struggle with addiction. And in most cases, if one person is using, the other will continue to as well.
However, some couples do reach a point where they decide they need to get healthy, and they want to do so together. At first, it may seem like the best decision, as the two partners can support each other. But, there are several things to consider:
- Are you both on the same page and willing to stop?
- Do you both have the same severity of addiction?
- Do you have the same dedication or family support to back up the process?
- Are you both impacted by substance use in the same way?
Realizing When You Both Need Help
Deciding to get sober together is an incredibly brave decision that can start you on the path to health and happiness. Couples who do this often find that they are stronger together. You will be working on the same goal and fighting the same demon.
However, you will need to make some important decisions, such as which drug rehab you will attend, who will take care of responsibilities at home, how you will pay for treatment and so forth. And, you do need to be aware of the potential for relapse. If one person relapses, this can affect the other person’s recovery.
It’s also crucial to remember that recovery is an individual process. Although you and your partner can help each other along the way, you must focus on your recovery and your partner must focus on theirs. You are not in control of your partner’s choices or behaviors. Your sobriety must come first, and then you can support one another as a team. 
Considerations When Getting Sober Together
There are benefits and considerations when two people decide to get sober together. Here are some of the factors that are associated with greater success:
Address the root causes of the substance use.
People use substances for different reasons, such as to relieve stress or cope with mental health symptoms. It’s important to understand your individual reasons to use substances, as they are probably different from your partner’s.
It can take time to recognize the deeper issues that you are struggling with. But if both you and your partner do this, you’ll have an easier time recognizing your triggers and be less likely to relapse.
Furthermore, if you do have a mental health disorder that needs treatment, or your partner has unresolved trauma they need to work through, getting help will improve the relationship in other ways, too.
Consider couples or family therapy.
Couples, marriage or family therapy should be included in your treatment plan. Fortunately, many rehabilitation centers offer family therapy sessions, which will give you time to work through your problems in a safe, non-judgmental space.
Communication and problem solving are issues in many couple’s relationships, and even more so when substance use is present. Family therapy can help you navigate these issues, strengthen your relationship and improve communication. This will make it easier to get sober together - and stay sober.
Find additional support.
It’s important that you both have your own support networks to tap into. You cannot solely rely on each other, as this will put too much pressure on the both of you. Plus, it’s helpful to have other people to turn to who are sober and not working on recovery.
Your support system may include family, friends, support groups and online communities. They should provide you with the love and encouragement you need to get through the initial weeks and months of recovery. Plus, having different people in your circles prevents the same individuals from overlapping and becoming burnt out.
Try new sober activities together.
When you’re no longer using substances together, you’ll have a lot more time that opens up. It’s important to use this time constructively. This means that you’ll have to find new sober activities to fill your time. But this is where having a partner can be a good thing, as you can explore new activities together.
Think about some of the things you can do as a couple:
- Cooking foods you’ve never tried before
- Completing home improvement projects
- Gardening and growing your own foods
- Exploring nature
- Playing sports
- Taking a class or learning a new skill
- Playing board games or card games
- Watching movies or TV series
While having activities that you both enjoy is a good thing, it’s also important to have hobbies of your own. Make time for activities that you can enjoy independently such as reading, writing in a journal or meditating.
Outpatient Drug and Alcohol Rehab for Individuals and Couples
Recovery Cove is a drug and alcohol rehabilitation center in Easton, PA that provides a peaceful, caring environment conducive to healing. We believe in building up our clients from within so that they can learn, grow and feel empowered to be the individuals they want to be. To learn more about starting your journey, contact our recovery center today at 484-549-COVE. As an outpatient treatment center with family therapy, we can accommodate couples as well.
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